Feeling So Much Better!

After having had a few really trying days in a row, I am feeling so much better. I don't know what it was. Maybe because I ate food that I made. (Haven't done that in a while.) Maybe it was the water I drank. Maybe it was just because it was Saturday. Who cares?!?!?!? I am feeling better.

For dinner, I was going to make stuffed peppers. I went to the fridge to get the peppers and noticed that one had already turned bad. I threw all three of them out, and then thought "What am I going to make now?" It dawned on me that I had tri-color pepper strips in the freezer. I made the rice, ground beef, and mixed it all up with the pepper strips. Took it all and added the tomato soup and put it in a casserole dish. It looked a little dry, so I added a little tomato sauce to it and sprinkled parmesean cheese in it and on top of it, and baked it for about 30 minutes. It was so good!

I also made a pan of brownies for Pat and Nathaniel. He (Nathaniel) was so adamant about having another brownie when he finished the one I gave him. It amazes me how well he can put sentences together when he really wants something. Not that he doesn't speak well already, but he really articulates his needs when he wants something.

Earlier today, we were playing "Ring around the rosy." After I had fallen down he demanded that I get back up and do it again. I mean, he was pulling me by the shoulder and sayiong "get up, Mama. Do it again." And then when Pat joined in, he was really excited! He kept telling us we were funny.

It was the best day I've had in a long time. I hope that there are many more to come.

Just What I Needed

I am having a hard time lately. I just feel like I am so stressed that I am going to snap. I physically hurt from the stress of life. I can't sleep. I eat crap to give me energy (even though it really doesn't).

But today was just the breaking point. School was mostly okay, but I feel like there is just so much to do and I can't seem to get it done. The cold, crappy weather doesn't really help either.

I texted Pat to ask him if he would please give me a foot rub, since I am just bone tired and sore. He said he would when he got home, but he was at his dad's house. I thought about it for a while, and then asked him if he could take Nathaniel over there for a while. He met me at home, and took Nathaniel with him. I am now sitting in the quiet dark, in sweats and a sweater, and I can feel the tension actually leave my spine.

I am so grateful for my wonderful hubby. I don't know how I'd get through the end of this season without him. He's also going to pick up dinner. I love him so much! He gave me just what I needed... time for myself.

I Caved

Yeah, I suck. I lost the battle. Crackers, mashed potatoes, and the most delicious lemon pudding cheesecake.

But, today is a new day, and I can start over. I made it 2 weeks before I lost it to carbs and I can do it again. I haven't gotten on the scale to see the actual damage I've done, (mainly because I feel bad enough) but I will later. Damn Easter dinner.

On a positive note, I don't have any more holidays coming up for 2 months. Nothing until Nathaniel's birthday, so that's 2 months more that I can get under my belt. After that, there's nothing until Thanksgiving (which I will not be hosting unless I have to.)

I had a great Easter though. My sister and her family came over, as did my mom, my in-laws and Pat's uncle. Small enough to not be overwhelming, but large enough for everyone to have a good time. We even had an Easter egg hunt for the kids (although my sister's kids are probably too old for that by now. They were great helping Nathaniel find eggs and I think they like what I put in the eggs.) Forgot to bring out the bubbles, but we can play with those when we have Nathaniel's birthday party.

I can't believe that in two short months, my baby will be 2 years old. Where has the time gone? I just start crying when I think about it. Not sad crying, but nostalgic crying. I am so proud of everything that he accomplishes. I don't think that someome could ever understand that swelling of pride.

I think it goes back to those old journals and never feeling like I could ever do anything good enough. My Nathaniel (I hope) will never have those feelings because everything he does is good. He is such a good boy, and a stinker, and a genius rolled in to one remarkable little boy. I am truly blessed.

A week later, and life is so different

As it turns out, I had a chemical pregnancy. A week ago, life was so full of joys. Now, my life is full of pain. Thankfully, most if it is just physical pain. I am having some PPA again, but not as severe as when I had N.

We are going to try again in a few months, after everything calms down a bit more. Right now, I just want to focus on what I have been blessed with. I have a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what. (Thanks goodness our wedding song was "The Way I Am.") I also have a wonderfully perfect son who makes me laugh every day. He recently started saying "bless you" when I sneeze.

As far as my 10 things list goes, I will be writing about how I've organized my list. I don't think that I will re-type all 101 things, but maybe put them into categories by their numbers. I think that wold be easier for me to keep up with. I want to figure out how to do more with this blog, too. I enjoy being able to voice my thoughts without actually saying anything. I find it an excellent way to release the building crap in my head.