Feeling Down

Today was Nathaniel's last day with the babysitter who he has been with since he was 12 weeks old. I am really sad about that. We really loved her, we just didn't want him to get hurt by the other little girl there anymore.

So I picked him up today, and we were all crying. Then she tells me that she's never had anyone leave her daycae unhappy. That made me feel like shit. It's not that we are unhappy, we just want what's best for Nathaniel. I am truly happy with the decision we made to send him to school. I never intended to hurt her (the babysitter) or anyone else for that matter, but I have to take care of my son.

I was crying so hard when I was there, picking him up. I kept telling myself that it would all be over soon, and that I would get through it and I did. But why do I feel so terrible then? I know that right after we left she went into the kitchen and cried, so that the other kids wouldn't see her.

If we were to ever have another child (ha ha) then I would not hesitate to have her care for that one too. I already recommended her to a colleague who is getting married next week, telling her that when she and her hubs to be are ready, the babysitter is great. I am hoping that I don't feel sad much longer. Nathaniel's teachers at school love him so much too, and he does get a lot of attention there. One of his teachers told me he was her favorite, and made no attempt to hide it.

I know it will all work out in the end, I just want to feel like the right decision was made.