Time sure seems to be flying by. I'm hoping that October will go fast too. No, it's not to get to Christmas faster, or even Thanksgiving. It's that I can finally apply for my retirement money to be sent to me. We so desperately need that money. October is going to be a very slim month for us.
I went grocery shopping, and thanks to my chicken binge in July, I only spent $160 for the month. Of course, this doesn't include milk, which we go through like nothing (about 2 1/2 to 3 gallons a week) and sandwich bread. We'll be eating a lot of PB+J this month. With the homemade jelly. Thankfully, both kids like them.
But, as of right now, we are dead broke. I paid the mortgage and Nathaniel's tuition for school. Next week, I'll pay the bike and the car, and, God willing, the phone bill. That just leaves 8 credit cards, electric, gas, water, internet/cable, car insurance, saving for next month's mortgage payment, etc. etc. etc. There's no money for that. How many people know that feeling? I am grateful for all we have. We have food to eat. We have a warm place to lay our heads. We have transportation. So many other people don't. I know this, so why does our situation make me want to cry?
I feel like I'm so selfish for quitting. But I honestly couldn't do it anymore. I hated going to work. I couldn't stand the students in my class. I still know I made the right choice, and I enjoy being home with the kids, I just wish I had a paycheck.
So our plans for my retirement funds are to pay off all our debt (or as much as we can). Obviously, it won't be the mortgage, but maybe a few of the credit cards could be done. Ugh, I just want to lift the pressure.
I've found though, that in the process of saving money, I am a pretty good baker. I love baking and cooking from scratch. It makes me feel productive. Like I've really done something to benefit my family. I do still need to get more flour, sugar, and butter from the store, because it seems like I go through a lot of that. Damn pinterest, giving me so many ideas I want to try! It reminds me of that old Twilight Zone episode when the man just wanted to read books. He was in the bank vault on his lunch break when the world ended, and since he was the only survivor he finally could read all he wanted. The only problem was that he tripped and broke his glasses, so he couldn't read any more. I have the same problem. I want to make all these different things for my family, but I don't have the means to get the necessary ingredients.
It could be worse, I guess. And speaking of worse, Veronica, at age 15 months, isn't talking much. I have to take her for a hearing evaluation at the end of the month. I'm sure she hears fine, but I can't help but worry. I mean, who wouldn't? If that turns out ok, then we have a speech evaluation. From there we go to therapy, if necessary. She also had a raging ear infection. She never had a fever, no pulling on it, no laying on the side, nothing. I have no idea how long she had it, but she's on antibiotics for it. I pray that when it clears up, she starts talking some more. Doc said it might be enough to muffle sounds, making it harder for her to talk. But I'm still a wreck.
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