So Many Thoughts Running Around My Head

There has been so much going on in the last 24 hours, and I am doing my best to process it all. First, the news last night. My mom called me around 9:45 (Iron Chef America was still on but I was mostly asleep). She told me that Osama bin Laden had been killed. I couldn't figure out what was going on, since I was sleeping, but I got up and joined Pat in the living room to watch the President speak.

I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally President Obama came on to tell the world officially what had been done and the results of those efforts. I cried for a minute or two.

I don't know why I was crying. Was it because I think it's over? No, I don't think terrorism will ever be "over." Was it relief? I don't think that's it either. I think it was just me flashing back in my mind to nearly 10 years ago when I watched the plane fly into the second building. That morning will never fade from my brain.

I was getting ready for work, and dad was listening to the radio, as he always did. I heard the tv go on, and thought "Dad's really losing it. He's got the tv and radio on." I went in to ask him to turn one or the other off. He told me that a plane had flown into the WTC. At that time, no one knew why or what. I called my mom and she came in and then it happened. We sat there, dumbfounded, as the second plane flew into the building.

I knew in that moment that our world had changed forever.

As I drove to work that morning, terrified beyond what I could have imagined earlier that morning, I was talking to my BFF and we were discussing what had happened. Being in our mid-20's, we thought of our futures and what the future would bring. More terror? More bombings? Less safety?

I had night terrors for weeks after September 11th, and I would wake up screaming. I cannot (to this day) tolerate seeing any images of the towers- with or without the flames and smoke. I break down crying again.

Last night, after the President was done speaking to the world, I snuck into Nathaniel's room. I needed to hug and hold him close to me. I needed something pure and perfect. I needed him then more than he will ever need me. I picked up my beautiful son and whispered in his ear. I told him that I hope his world is a little more peaceful and safe.

Do I think it is? No. I fear retaliation for this act will come, and will come strong. I can only hope and pray, as many Americans will, that we can enter into a time of peace, a time of love, and a time of acceptance.

I hope and pray that what was done was really the best thing to have happened. As many parents feel, I don't care about what happens to me, I just hope that things are brighter and better for my child. I want him to live in a world that isn't affected by war and destruction on a daily basis.

Is there such a place? I tell you, my friends, there is. In that instant when I snuggled my son close to me in the night, a world exsisted in which there was nothing but peace, unending love, and the knowledge that everything I do is done with love and hope.

Let's hope that this can unite America as it once was, and that we can all start treating each other with a little more respect, love, and compassion. After all, everyone on this planet is someone's pure and perfect child.