Gratitude

You know, every once in a while, I look at my life and just thank God for all that I have.

My family is healthy. Yes, Nathaniel had the flu last Thursday, and I got it Friday night, and Pat is currently in bed with it now, but none of us has had to go to the hospital. None of us have anything majorly wrong with us. (diabetes aside)

We have enough food to eat. Maybe we're not eating steak every night, or going out to eat three times a week like we used to, but we're not going to starve. We know there will always be a meal on our table. There are many people who don't have that security.

We can pay our bills. Yes, taxes suck ass, and insurance bills are high, but I know that we can pay them. We have a small amount of money in our savings, and it will be enough. Next year, when we get our tax refund, we can put that money back in savings and up what we pay to our escrow. Lesson learned the hard way. We may not have all the things that our friends have, and our house may not be as big as some, but I don't want to pay to heat or cool a house that big. (And no, BFF, I am not referring to your house.) And maybe I can't get myself or my family a ton of "stuff" for Christmas, but there are presents in the garage and Pat's closet. But, my house is full of love.

I have enough time for what's important. My house is a mess, and I feel like I have no time to ever get it clean, but I know that Nathaniel knows I love him. He knows that when he asks "Mommy, come to the kitchen wif me" (yes, wif) to play with his magnet letters and numbers, I will be on the dirty floor right next to him. I think about all the stuff I wanted to get done on the day I stayed home with Nathaniel when he was sick, but I gladly spent 4 hours with him lying in my arms since he was comfortable (and not puking).

I have a husband who loves me. I cannot express how wonderful that one thing is. To have someone in the world that knows all about me, has seen me at my best and worst, has seen me naked and still loves me anyway is just incredible. TMI ALERT I mean, the guy once wiped my butt for me because I couldn't turn around. (It was right after I had the C-section.)

I know that our realationship is a two way street. I know that Pat would do anything for me, just as he knows I would do the same for him. For example, today, although I had a whopping 3 hours of sleep last night, I picked up Pat because he was too sick to drive back to the garage to drop off his truck. It was right in the middle of naptime, and I was asleep. Did I hesitate? Nope. He needed me and I was there for him. (So glad Nathaniel and I didn't go to the zoo!!!)

I have some very good friends that will never fall by the wayside. I don't know where I would be without my best friend, and I hope that she feels the same. She knows my deepest issues and I know hers. I can't even explain how valueable she is. She is my sounding board, and I am hers. Even though we live far apart and are at two different points in our lives, we can still relate. I worry that the things I confide in her about hurt her, since some of those things are things she wants, but she always assures me that is not the case. I hope that some day (soon!) she gets her heart's desire.

Indeed, I have a lot to be grateful for.