It Just Ain't Gonna Happen

There's just no way that I will be able to complete everything on my list... specifically the forgive and forget. I have tried really hard to make Pat happy and forgive and forget. But I can't do it. I am so hurt and so mad at what he (not Pat) said to me today.

First of all, we were trying to put Nathaniel down for a nap when the doorbell rang. It was the back door and that could only have been one person. Don't come opver between the hours of 1 and 3 in the afternoon. It's naptime. Plain and simple. Everyone understands this but him.

So I opened the back door and told him he could come in. I left to go get Pat to tell him the door was for him, and then I told Nathaniel to go play with the visitor. I came out into the living room, which has a few of Nathaniel's toys on the floor- stuff that Pat had given him to play with before we left this morning. Pat didn't clean up anything, which, while not ideal, is life with a toddler.

Nathaniel decided to show off all his toys that were in his reach, because he wanted his grandpa to play with him. (He wouldn't, which is his loss. My dad would have.) Then he proceeds to tell me that Pat told him what the doctor said. I asked what he meant and he said that even though to doctor tells me Nathaniel is smart, he's not growing. I was furious! Nathaniel was tiny when he was born, and had to wear preemie clothes. He is 2 years old and wears a 2T. That's EXACTLY where he is supposed to be! There is nothing wrong with his size.

But it hurt me so bad. I don't care what you say about me, but don't you fucking dare say something negative about my son. What are you saying, asshole? That there's something wrong with your one and only grandson?

I was just so pissed I stopped talking. So he turned his attention to the floor of our living room. Apparently, all we need to do is to teach Nathaniel to pick up his clothes. No shit, asswipe. I wish I had thought of this genius bit of knowledge. My life would be so easy. I'd never have to pick things up again ever! So, not only is my son too short for his grandfather, he is lazy too (or has bad parents).

I am so sad and hurt that this asshole came over and critisized me TODAY of all days really jsut hurt. My dad would have been so proud of Nathaniel for any and all accomplishments he has. He wouldn't have told me that he is too small or that something must be wrong. He would've said how proud he is to have such an incredible grandson, even though he has others.

But I don't have my dad anymore. Nathaniel doesn't have his Bumpa anymore. All he has is an asshat who only sees the negative in life, and shows that nothing will ever be good enough for him. I really hate him now.