I got another of my 101 things done today. I finished number 13, organize Nathaniel's baby pictures. They were the pictures my mom took, from his Baptism to just after his first birthday. They were so bittersweet to look at. I love seeing how much my baby has grown, and I love all the changes he's gone through. But, there were pictures of him and my dad in there, and those made me cry. Some days the pain is still so acute, even though he's been gone since last July. My one regret is that I don't have a lot of pictures of Nathaniel with him. Of course, Nathaniel knows that the man in the pictures is "Bumpa" and he calls him that, but he will never know how funny my dad was. I see a lot of my dad in him, especially when he gives me those smart-ass looks of his. just so dad.
At Dad's surprise birthday party
Who made that smell?
Nathaniel and Bumpa
It also brought out the tears since I won't be having another squishy baby as soon as I thought I was going to. That's been on the forefront of my mind today though. I was shopping for a friend's baby shower, and thought to myself "No problem. I can handle this." Well, as it turned out, I couldn't. I broke down right there in the middle of the baby section of Target. In his usual knowing style, Nathaniel gave me a hug and said "cry?" It was just what I needed. He helps remind me f all the blessings that I already have.
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