Blueberry

I won't be posting this until later, just in case I need to delete it.

Today is Friday, so it's pregnancy entry day. Today, I am 7 weeks, and my baby is the size of a blueberry. I have three doctor appointments today. The first is a redo for my nurse intake appointment. (I went 2 weeks ago and it was a big fail! My urine test came out negative, so that's when they did the beta draws.)

The next is with Dr. D., an endocrinologist. I am hopeful that he can explain why I am not responding well to the insulin.

After that, I have an ultrasound. I am really looking forward to seeing my little blob on the screen. I hope and pray that everything looks good and on track, but fear that it is not.

The shirt I bought for Nathaniel arrived in the mail yesterday, but I am too scared to open it. I just don't want the pain of looking at that shirt if he will bever wear it.

Later in the day...

I ended up going to see the nurse at Dr. A's office. She was great. Came home with a big goodie bag for expenctant mothers. But, she sent me to the lab to get my blood drawn. Ugh.

Seriously, 8 vials? What on God's green Earth do they need 8 vials of blood for? HIV tests, and then a complete panel of x, y, and z. Only took two stabs, one in the hand and one in the arm. Still not fun.

Then, I get in the car to drive tgo the other side of the hospital to go to the endocrinoligist. I turned my phone back on, and saw I had a voicelmail from Dr. A's office. Whaa??? The nurse called, and the first thing she said was "Nothing is wrong, but..." she needed some more dates from me, about my miscarriages. I told her that I really appreciated the fact that she started it with "there is nothing wrong," because I instantly assumed that there was.

On to the endo. Wow, this part is going to be long. First, let me start by saying that my endo (as I will call him- or Dr. D.) also took care of my dad. He cares for a friend of mine as well, so I knew I would be in good hands. I got in and was talking with the nurse, who is also a nutritionist, and she spent about 25 minutes with me, talking about what I should be eating and what I shouldn't and how to eat and even gave me a list of apps for my iPhone to help me track my food. I go back to see her again in two weeks. Then Dr. D. came in.

To say that he was upset that I had never seen an endo in the 4 years since I've been diagnosed would be an understatement. He was, in short, absolutely amazing. I spent about 45 minutes with him. He asked me all sorts of questions, going back to when I was 14! 23 years of my medical history, He explained studies that he had read or been a part of, and why he does things the way he does. It was incredible. Yes, my head was spinning with all the information he gave me, but it was well worth it.

However, there was some bad news with that too. He told me (with a 97% degrees of certainty) that I have PCOS. This was not really surprising, but all the things that can happen because of it sure were. Heart disease, infertility (not that I have that problem, apparently) increased insulin resistance (to combine with the diabetes- Fun!), and all sorts of other stuff that I can't remember right now, but have written down.

Other bad news was a study he told me about in regards to diabetic moms. Those whose A1c were 8 or below before pregnancy had a 2% chance of having a baby with malformations. That's the same as non-diabetic women. However, A1c's of over 8 (as my last one was) had 22% chance of malformations. This could be anything from a cleft palate to heart defects and spina bifida. As I sat there crying, he said, but don't forget about the other 78% whose babies are born perfectly healthy.

So, obviously, we're hoping and praying to be in that 78%.

We have increased my insulin (a lot) but he said that's not as much as some pregnant women he has seen are taking. So that made me feel good. PLus, the nutritionist said that I have to eat the 180 carbs a day (holy shitballs, twice as muc as before) because that's what a healthy pregnancy needs, and we'll just have to adjust the insulin and that's that.

Ok, so after all that, I went to the outpatient center to get my ultrasound done. Since I didn't have an appointment, they told me I might be waiting a long time, and they would squeeze me in. Maybe they just say that to see if you're really willing to wait, because I waited a whopping 10 minutes. Yep, that's all. I've waited longer when I had an appointment!! ANyway, they did the ultrasound, and couldn't tell me anything. They never do. But when I told them that I was just loking for some reassurance, they said that they were "pretty sure I'd be back to see them in the future" because "Dr A. always has more done." You can read that as "THERE'S A BABY IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I was so relieved! I won't get the official yes until I see Dr. A again, and that's on Tuesday, but I'm confident enough that I think I will sleep all night tonight.

My plan is to announce it to my family on Thanksgiving. (the ones that don't know, like my mom, younger sister, Pat's mom and uncle.) Should be great! Can't wait to see Mom's face!

And one last thing. I opened the package that held Nathaniel's t-shirt. Believe me when I say that next Friday, there will be a picture of it posted! It is adorable!