I feel like I have to put this out there, even though I hadn't planned on doing this for quite a while. I don't know why God has decided that this is the path for my life, but it is beginning to make me question everything.
You see, very late Monday night, I took a pregnancy test. Although the second line was faint, it was there. I am pregnant!!! I was over the moon thrilled about it. Pat was less than thrilled, but supportive and happy. I took another test Tuesday morning, and it looked like the line was a little fainter. But it was still there.
Today, Wednesday, I took a digital to confirm that I am pregnant. It said "Not Pregnant."
I am just destroyed. Although I haven't gotten my period yet (which means there's a tiny chance of hope) I just can't bring myself around to believe that this time will be different. I am crushed. I am mad. I am really fucking pissed off. I am hoping I am wrong.
So if you read this, please say a prayer for me. I know I ask this a lot, but this was my last chance...
Joi, I cannot tell you how sorry I am if the digital was correct. But. There *is* still a ray of hope, yes? It is my understanding that the "regular" tests sometimes give a false negative but almost never a false positive. My two lines were faint, but I have proof in the exersaucer in my kitchen that faint still means "yes." Max and I just said another prayer for you and I hope this is your sticky baby. If it is not, I wish you peace and proper time to grieve and heal. ANYthing I can do to help you, please call. We could even take N for a while if you need to drin and curse and hit a wall. Sending you a huge cyber-hug and wishing I was there to give you a real one!
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