Emotional Overload

My emotions are all over the place today. I helped my mom find a new place to live. It was great to spend time with her and to be able to help her out. It's something she's never had to do before. At the end, when she called the owner of the place she really liked, she was crying. I told her that I was very proud of her, because if she could do that, she can do anything.

In all honesty, I was terrified of the places she was looking at. Not the best of neighborhoods. I really wanted her to move closer to me (maybe after she retires). She didn't want to do it because it's too far for her to go to work. We did find a nice place in a good area. I feel confident about the place, which I think really has helped her. Once she sells the house she's in right now, there will be a lot less stress in her life. So my emotion is happy.

I also am sad because I am packing up Nathaniel's baby clothes and throwing out the rest of the diapers tomorrow. There's about 10 that I will be actually tossing, so it's not too bad. But I am losing my baby and gaining a big boy. So I am happy and sad. I am also scared. What if I fail him?

I am also excited about him finally being out of diapers. Not like he's four or anything. In fact he's not even two. But to be able to go without extra diapers and wipes will be awesome. I ordered a travel potty, for while he is new to the potty thing, and 10 extra liners. I also ordered toilet seat covers for when we have no choice but to use a public bathroom. It's not the germs that concern me so much as the falling in. Because he is so small, I will have to hold him. I think the liners (which stick on the seat) will help make him feel at ease. It's my hope anyway.

I am excited for another reason too. I think we (Pat and I) had really good timing this month to possibly get pregnant this month. I tell myself that I will not be upset if it doesn't happen this month, but I know myself way better than that. I will be upset. But, I should know either way in two weeks. As usual, the "2 week window" will be long. At least I have things to look forward to that will help pass the time. Potty training Nathaniel, going to the zoo, going to the museum, Nathaniel's birthday party (technically after the 2ww, but I have to get stuff ready.)

So, that's where I stand today. I little happy, a little sad, a little excited and completely crazy. I guess it's all normal after all.