Exhausted!

Today has been such a long day. It started at 5 this morning with me waking up. I heard Nathaniel in his room, making some noise, although he was not yet awake. I got up and as I was climbing over the gate, he woke up. Ugh. I like an hour or so to myself in the morning. It's the only good thing about waking up so early.

Anyway, I went in to get him, knowing tha thte sheets would be soaked and so would he. I was wrong! He woke up dry!!! We went to the bathroom and he peed in the toilet. I was so excited that I called to Pat to wake up and cheer for Nathaniel. I thought to myself, "Wow, this is really going to work."

I should have known better. There were only two more times that he went pee on the toilet all day. By 10:30 this morning, we had gone through as many pairs of underwear as we had all day yesterday. I am so stressed out about this I can't even explain it.

I really want to give up. I know that I can't... not yet anyway. I have to give it at least the 3 days, right? Pat and I were just beyond frustrated, and began snapping at each other. My mom came over for a while and tried to help me out with some of the birthday stuff I need to get done, but mostly I just wanted to cry and get out!

Lately, I have been feeling like I don't want to be me. I don't want to be a mom or a wife. I don't want to be a teacher. I don't want to be me. It scares the shit out of me that I feel that way. I hate feeling like that and I am hoping that it's just the stress that I have right now. This is supposed to be an awesome summer for me. It's not working out that way.

I am still hoping that by tomorrow evening, he gets it. I truly think that we have been following the method exactly. One of us is always with him. We give him tons of priase, even when he doesn't do anything. We constatnly remind him to tell us that he has to go potty. We check for dry underpants. It just isn't clicking.

Maybe I am pushing too much too soon. I really thought thaat he wou;d be able to do this in a snap.